“- Dave: Is his junk literally out of his pants?
- Ronnie: Yes.
- Dave: Now it's a party.”
Vince Vaughn - Dave
Malin Akerman - Ronnie

“It's the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?”
John Michael Higgins - Doc Wilson

“- Guy Cipriani: No wedding!
- Connie Cipriani: We got 300 people coming here.
- Guy Cipriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!”
Paul Sorvino - Guy Cipriani
Veronica Cartwright - Connie Cipriani

“Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”
Paul Shaffer - Hermes; the Messenger God

“- Zeus: Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration.
- Hades: Love to, babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.”

Rip Torn - Zeus
James Woods - Hades