“- Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
- Tallahassee: I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
- Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?”
Abigail Breslin - Little Rock
Woody Harrelson - Tallahassee

“I need a time machine with a loud radio to take me where I'm going.”
Kevin Costner - Butch Haynes

“- Roland Sharp: Why do you find it necessary to listen to this constant crap?
- Anne: What's the matter? You don't like vagina music?
- Roland Sharp: Do you have to use that word before I've had my coffee and soymilk?”

Tommy Lee Jones - Roland Sharp
Christina Milian - Anne

“I am only a radio star with just one weekly show but speaking as one of the people. I want you to know we are tired of the decline of Argentina with no sign of a government able to give us the things we deserve.”
Madonna - Eva Perón

“- Joe, the Narrator: Ceil adored a very prominent ventriloquist, and this always used to drive Abe crazy.
- Abe: He's a ventriloquist on the radio - how do you know he's not moving his lips?
- Ceil: Who cares? Leave me alone.”
Woody Allen - Joe, the Narrator
Josh Mostel - Abe
Renée Lippin - Ceil