“- Konstantin Karpov: You smoke, Nikita? What would the Surgeon General say? Russian cigarettes. You will acquire the taste, Nikita. As you will for all things Russian.
- Jeff Grant: I once had some Popov Vodka.
- Konstantin Karpov: Did you? Bully for you, Nikita! What a guy!”
Richard Bradford - Konstantin Karpov
River Phoenix - Jeff Grant

“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about... beer.”
Michael McShane - Friar Tuck

“- Alison Bradbury: And you should see the crap he eats! Cheese balls and beer for breakfast!
- Jason: How do you know what he eats for breakfast?”

Daphne Zuniga - Alison Bradbury
Boyd Gaines - Jason

“- Sweet Daddy Dee: Let's make an analogy here.
- Jeff Dunham: An analogy?
- Sweet Daddy Dee: If we were foods, I would be a fine summer wine that would divine anytime.
- Jeff Dunham: Ah. What about me?
- Sweet Daddy Dee: Every good wine needs a cracker.”
Jeff Dunham - Sweet Daddy Dee
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“- Annie Herman: You can't put wine in Hobo stew!
- Phyllis Nefler: Why not? What goes better with Hobos than wine?”
Mary Gross - Annie Herman
Shelley Lee Long - Phyllis Nefler