“- Rudy: You know what you are? You're like a gas leak. We don't see, we don't smell you, and you're silently killing us all.
- Terry: I am not a gas leak! You take that back, you asshole of a monster man!
- Rudy: You creature from the Black Lagoon.”

Robert De Niro - Rudy

“You’re a fucking moron.”
Bob Balaban - Bernie Nayman

“- Doug Butabi: Idiot.
- Craig: You know Doug, just because you and your brother are having problems, that's no reason to refer to my intellectual capacity in a diminutive manner.”
Chris Kattan - Doug Butabi
Lochlyn Munro - Craig

“Save your breath, he can't hear you. Assholes don't have ears.”

Ken Foree - Billy

“- Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.
- Alan: Thank you.”

Ed Helms - Stu
Zach Galifianakis - Alan