“- Joe: Oh, my god! Mister, are you alright?
- Walter Shit: Two days, seven hours, twenty-three minutes and four seconds. That's how long I've been lying here.
- Joe: Are you OK?
- Walter Shit: 'Course not! I'm an artist!”

Jerry O'Connell - Joe
Jim Turner - Walter Shit

“- Madman: Are all painters crazy?
- Vincent van Gogh: Only the great ones.”
Niels Arestrup - Madman
Willem Dafoe - Vincent van Gogh

“Fuck Picasso.”
Ed Harris - Jackson Pollock

“- Herman Mankiewicz: It won't be easy having made your masterpiece at 26.
- Orson Welles: Is that what you think - that I'm just going to burn out at the ripe old age of 26?
- Herman Mankiewicz: All stars burn out, Orson. It's the flame that counts.”
John Malkovich - Herman Mankiewicz
Liev Schreiber - Orson Welles

“Artists are always appreciated more after they're dead!”
Michael Douglas - Steven Taylor