“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
Betty Kaye - Meredith

“- The Great Edgar: For my next experiment, I will saw the little maharaja in half.
- Charlie: I'm a victim of sawcumstances.”
Edgar Bergen - The Great Edgar
Charlie McCarthy - Charlie

“Funny how I meet you at all my homicides.”

Sam Levene - Police Lt. Abrams

“- Ernie Smuntz: Wow... I almost feel sorry for the little fella.
- Ernie Smuntz and Lars Smuntz: [together, laughing] Almost!”

Nathan Lane - Ernie Smuntz
Lee Evans - Lars Smuntz

“- Zeus: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?
- Hades: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?”
Rip Torn - Zeus
James Woods - Hades