“- Sassy: It's like I said all along, poopsie: cats rule and dogs drool.
- Chance: Get a life. Get nine of them.
- Sassy: But it's true. Cats are smarter than dogs, and more attractive... and we don't drink from the toilet!”
Sally Field - Sassy
Michael J. Fox - Chance

“- Lars Smuntz: I don't believe it. He snapped the trap, ate the olive and left the pit just to mock us!
- Ernie Smuntz: I think you're giving him a little too much credit. Mice don't mock. They don't have a sense of humor or irony.”
Lee Evans - Lars Smuntz
Nathan Lane - Ernie Smuntz

“- Jay: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
- Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.”
Will Smith - Jay
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“Did you know pigs are as smart as dogs? It's true. I knew this guy in El Capitan who taught his pig to bark at strangers.”
Casey Siemaszko - Charles 'Charley' Bowdre

“You just stay here with the pork. They're smarter than you anyway. You might learn something.”
Casey Siemaszko - Charles 'Charley' Bowdre