“My parents used to beat the living shit out of me, okay? And I'm glad they did, and I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids!”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“You know, when you have kids to raise, you yell.”

Jessica Walter - Fern

“Attention all campers, it's 9:30... and that's lights-out time here at Camp Northstar, 9:30 as you know. Tomorrow is parents day, and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary.”
Bill Murray - Tripper

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because you're all dead... and it's all my fault. Mom, Dad, you fed me, kept a roof over my head until I killed you. Which I guess doesn't make me a very good son. But I'm gonna try to change.”
Devon Sawa - Anton Tobias

“My dad always drives my mum, so that means I gotta ride you!”
Glenndon Chatman - Young Quincy