“- Beverly Pear: Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!
- Randy Pear: All right, all right, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar.
- Beverly Pear: A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
- Randy Pear: Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel.”
Kathy Najimy - Beverly Pear
Jon Lovitz - Randy Pear

“- Ted Foster: I thought that if you wanted to marry a girl you were supposed to ask her father.
- Harry C. Thomas: You must be talking about some other father, some other family. Not a family with only one father and three daughters. Nobody asks him anything. He's lucky if he gets told.”
John Shelton - Ted Foster
Frank Morgan - Harry C. Thomas

“Mothers don't lose daughters. Don't you remember? They gain sons.”
Teresa Wright - Charlie Newton

“My poor, ugly, beautiful daughter is neither wolf, nor human. She lives with the forest, and so too will die with the forest.”
Gillian Anderson - Moro

“I have plans for my daughters, Mr. Holt; they don't include you. I know you: I know you better than you know me.”

Will Patton - Lloyd Abbott