“- Melvin Udall: Can I ask you a personal question?
- Simon Bishop: Sure.
- Melvin Udall: You ever get an erection over a woman?”
Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall
Greg Kinnear - Simon Bishop

“- Captain Monica Stark: Mrs. Forrest, what were you doing at 9 PM last night?
- Mrs. Forrest: What any woman should be doing at 9 PM. Needlepoint!”
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark
Beth Broderick - Mrs. Ruth Forrest

- Amanda Brooks: Walt, checkout the headlights on the blonde. How'd you like to play "hide the salami" with that for about a week? Ugh, but not me Walt, you. What, you don't think that's a perfectly legitimate question?
- Walter Stone: Coming from a guy, maybe.
Ellen Barkin - Amanda Brooks
Jimmy Smits - Walter Stone

- Marie: Mister, what does it mean... when a man "crashes out"?
- Healy: Crashes out? That's a funny question for you to ask now, Sister. It means he's free.

Ida Lupino - Marie
Jerome Cowan - Healy

“Why in all conscience should these be the ones to suffer? Children, old people, a young girl at the height of her loveliness. Why these? Are these our soldiers? Are these our fighters? Why should they be sacrificed?”
Henry Wilcoxon - Vicar