“Me and my wife had a great sex life, we use to have sex once a week. but then she died... then it was 3 or 4 times a week.”
Danny Murphy - Mr. Murphy

“- Eric Bates: What do you do with... your thing?
- Jack Brown: Is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved?”
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates
Richard Pryor - Jack Brown

“- Enid: Sometimes I think I'm going crazy from sexual frustration.
- Rebecca: And you haven't heard of the miracle of masturbation?”
Thora Birch - Enid
Scarlett Johansson - Rebecca

“- Jennifer: Are you okay?
- Betty Parker: Um, yes. It's, uh, just that your father would never do anything like that.
- Jennifer: Well, you know, Mom, there are other ways to enjoy yourself... without Dad.”

Reese Witherspoon - Jennifer
Joan Allen - Betty Parker

“Remember, boys! Stay away from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!
[shows his right hand]”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach