“- Joan Crawford: Take your shoes off. I just washed that floor.
- Greg Savitt: What about the socks?
- Joan Crawford: I can handle the socks.”
Faye Dunaway - Joan Crawford
Steve Forrest - Greg Savitt

“- Elaine: You know, if you let me come over to your place once in a while you could put on a clean shirt in the morning.
- Jack Cates: What makes you think I got any clean shirts in my place?”
Annette O'Toole - Elaine
Nick Nolte - Jack Cates

“- James Russell: You fuck up the suit, we've got a problem.
- Franklin Hatchett: Fuck the suit, we've already got a problem!”

Charlie Sheen - James Russell
Chris Tucker - Franklin Hatchett

“- Spike: It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You... You glow.
- Buffy Summers: That's because the dress is radioactive.”
James Marsters - Spike
Sarah Michelle Gellar - Buffy Summers

“- Hammy: I gotta go wee-wee!
- Verne: Not on the lake we drink from!”
Steve Carrell - Hammy
Garry Shandling - Verne