“- Rufus: I'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.
- Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.
- Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silentconsent to the slavetrade?
- Bethany: And its platform of noninvolvement during the Holocaust?
- Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.”
Chris Rock - Rufus
George Carlin - Cardinal Glick
Linda Fiorentino - Rufus

“- Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're driving on the wrong side of the road!
- Clark Griswold: I realize that honey. I'm also on the wrong side of the car.”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: you don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
- John Beckwith: Rule #16: give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.”

Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith

“Moscow rules. No second chances, no mistakes.”
Ralph Brown - Jeremy Collins

“I don't know what's worse, church or jail?”
Mary Stuart Masterson - Idgie Threadgoode