“I've wasted so much time being beautiful.”
Polly Walker - Caroline Dester

“- Rocky Sullivan: Say, you turned out to be a pretty snappy-looking dish.
- Laury Martin: Thanks.
- Rocky Sullivan: For a sociable worker.
- Laury Martin: Thanks again.”
James Cagney - Rocky Sullivan

“My doctor totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me looked like Gwyneth Paltrow, I get off the surgery table looking life freakin' Shrek.”
Shawn Wayans - Kevin Copeland

“- Tori: I am so glad I got waxed today.
- Karen: Ugh, me too. What did you get?
- Tori: The Bald Eagle.
- Karen: I got the Bermuda Triangle.
- Lisa: The Landing Strip.
- Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] I got the Buckwheat.”
Jessica Cauffiel - Tori
Busy Philipps - Karen
Jennifer Carpenter - Lisa
Marlon Wayans - Marcus Copeland

- Bernice Pruitt: Is this where you were "cream of corn"?
- Birdee Pruitt: "Queen of Corn" honey. Three years running.
Mae Whitman - Bernice Pruitt
Sandra Bullock - Birdee Pruitt