“- Danny Muldoon: I suppose you're proud of yourself.
- Rose Muldoon: Just telling it like it is.
- Danny Muldoon: That's been your excuse for the last 67 years.
- Rose Muldoon: My excuse?
- Danny Muldoon: Your excuse for hurting people whenever the hell you feel like it!”
John Candy - Danny Muldoon
Maureen O'Hara - Rose Muldoon

“These guys are worse than Hare Krishnas!”

Woody Allen - Nick

“I'm a wrecker. I wreck things, professionally. I mean, I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know.”
John C. Reilly - Ralph

“- Ambassador Bennington: Must you always be so methodical?
- James Reece: Well that's what you pay me for, sir.”
Richard Durden - Ambassador Bennington
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers - James Reece

“- Senator John McGlory: I always thought you were just really good at your job. But you really are an asshole, aren't you?
- Nick: They go hand in hand, Senator.”
Jay O. Sanders - Senator John McGlory
Denis Colin Leary - Nick