“- Taxi Driver: You talk funny!
- Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga: You talk funny too! Where are you from?
- Taxi Driver: Transylvania!
- Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga: That's where Pittsburgh is.”
Allan Katz - Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga

“- Jean Michel Basquiat: I gotta get out of New York...
- Andy Warhol: We could go to Pittsburgh! I kinda grew up there. They have this room with all the world's famous statues in it, so you don't even have to go to Europe any more... just go to Pittsburgh.”
Jeffrey Wright - Jean Michel Basquiat
David Bowie - Andy Warhol

“I work in a neighborhood so bad, you can get shot while you're gettin' shot.”
Chris Rock - Mays Gilliam

“- Tina: Shouldn't you be monitoring the weather or something?
- Bob: This is L.A... what weather?”
Caroline Keenan - Tina
Kenneth Moskow - Bob

“- Phil Hicks: Texas is really ugly, you know. I mean, what could anyone possibly like about this state?
- Dorman: I like the way it's shaped.”
Judd Nelson - Phil Hicks
Chuck Bush - Dorman