“- Stacy: So, what's up with Tony? You guys still skate with him?
- Jay: He's competing with the sun for the center of the universe.”
John Robinson - Stacy
Emile Hirsch - Jay

“If there's anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!”
Sam Rockwell - Zaphod Beeblebrox

“- Al Stump: If you die before the book is finished, I'll write the story I want.
- Ty Cobb: I ain't gonna die before the story's finished.
- Al Stump: I'll write slow.
- Ty Cobb: I'll die slow.”

Robert Wuhl - Al Stump
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Al Stump: I gotta put your family in my book.
- Ty Cobb: Your book? My book! And nothing about my ex-wives or my children is going to be in it. My book is about baseball!
- Al Stump: My book is about Cobb.
- Ty Cobb: Cobb is Baseball!”
Robert Wuhl - Al Stump
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“You won. You go ahead and tell the whole wide world that the greatest ballplayer who ever lived is also the greatest bastard. Eureka! Who fucking cares?”

Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb