“Great, I hijacked my fucking parents.”
Denis Colin Leary - Gus

“Spy on my parents? You gotta be kidding me! You want me to help you put'em away? Never!”

River Phoenix - Jeff Grant

“Jean was never in love with you. She went hook, line and sinker for that Lloyd guy the minute she saw him. And she's been seeing him every time your back was turned.”

Gladys George - Panama Smith

“If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.”
W.C. Fields - Cuthbert J. Twillie

“- Martha Phelps: I'm afraid after we're married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along and you'll forget all about me.
- Wolf J. Flywheel: Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.”
Margaret Dumont - Martha Phelps
Groucho Marx - Wolf J. Flywheel