- Brian Hope: I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.
- Charlie McManus: No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.
- Brian Hope: Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?
- Charlie McManus: Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Diane Gerard: What's this?
- Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga: Dress.
- Dr. Webster: And who wears the dress?
- Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga: Pope.”
Cindy Williams - Diane Girard
Allan Katz - Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga

“In Rome today, the Pope issued a message of hope for believers in their fight against what he termed the godless and lost. He offered a prayer for the young, whom he described as sadly in need of faith and not the illusion of conviction offered by rock music, drugs and contemporary poetry.”
Reggie Harris - Anchorman

“- Juan Bramuglia: More bad news from Rome, she met with the Pope. She only got a rosary and a kindly word.
- Ché: I wouldn't say the Holy Father gave her the bird. But papal decorations, never a hope.”

Gary Brooker - Juan Bramuglia
Antonio Banderas - Ché

“The Pope warned me never to trust the CIA!”
Leonardo Cimino - Cardinal