“You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright... which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris

“- Colleen Van Deusen: Has everyone checked in?
- Charles McCulloch: No. Jim Miller and Suzi Donaldson never showed up, and I'm more than a little concerned.
- Colleen Van Deusen: Well, don't be. They probably decided to explore each other rather than New York.”
Barbara Bingham - Colleen Van Deusen
Peter Mark Richman - Charles McCulloch

“It's the cutting edge of politics in a very extraordinarily boring way!”

Eddie Izzard - Himself

“I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car.”
Alan Ruck - Ferris Bueller

“- Sam: What did you say she did back in Romania?
- Phil Blackwood: Receptionist?”

William Daniels - Sam
Tom Selleck - Phil Blackwood