“- Marty Pascal: Buckman! There was a fingernail in my food, ya fat ass moron! Yesterday, it was a band-aid!
- Buckman: Sorry, sir. The band-aid was holding the fingernail on.”
Rob Schneider - Marty Pascal
Ken Hudson Campbell - Buckman

“- Nelson Moss: What are you doing?
- Sara Deever: Taking your shirt off.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara: So you can clean up.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara Deever: Because you smell like puppy pee.”
Keanu Reeves - Nelson Moss
Charlize Theron - Sara Deever

“Damn Bud, ya'll live like pigs!”
Brooke Alderson - Aunt Corene

“- Coach Gary Gaines: So how is it out there?
- Ivory Christian: They're fast, they're big, they're dirty... plus they're fast.
- Coach Gary Gaines: You said that already.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Coach Gary Gaines
Lee Jackson - Ivory Christian

“Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Jules Winnfield