“Never date a woman who pays her rent in singles.”
David Spade - Dylan Ramsey

“- Peter: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
- Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
- Peter: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?”
Ron Livingston - Peter
Diedrich Bader - Lawrence

“You think just because you made a little money you can get a new hairdo and some expensive clothes and turn yourself into a lady. But you can't, because you'll never be anything but a common frump whose father lived over a grocery store and whose mother took in washing.”
Ann Blyth - Veda Pierce

“Money and women. The reasons for make most mistakes in life.”
Irrfan Khan - Police Inspector

“- Sonny Koufax: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.
- Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Steve Buscemi - Homeless Guy