“Your mother's so stupid she exercises when she could just get like, liposuction or something!”
Jaime King - Heather Vandergeld

“- Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in science. That's probably why we never win!
- Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!”

Jack Black - Nacho
Héctor Jiménez - Esqueleto

“- Evelyn Couch: That's a low cholesterol meal. Happy Valentine's.
- Ed Couch: God! Are you trying to kill me?”
Kathy Bates - Evelyn Couch
Gailard Sartain - Ed Couch

“Never underestimate the effect of a poor diet. Too much protein, not enough zinc. Next thing you know, you're cutting up bodies in the bathtub. I mean, look at Hitler. He was a vegetarian. The brother was seriously malnourished.”
Sean Patrick Thomas - Rudy

“- Waiter: Would you care for some hors-d'oeuvres, sir?
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: [takes his shoe] I am on a diet, but to hell with it!”

Peter Sellers - Hrundi V. Bakshi