“- Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in science. That's probably why we never win!
- Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!”

Jack Black - Nacho
Héctor Jiménez - Esqueleto

“Your mother's so stupid she exercises when she could just get like, liposuction or something!”
Jaime King - Heather Vandergeld

“- Anne: I can't, I'm on the zone.
- Roland Sharp: What zone?
- Anne: The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
- Roland Sharp: This combination here is proper as hell.”

Christina Milian - Anne
Tommy Lee Jones - Roland Sharp

“- Det. Barzak: What the fuck is that shit?
- Det. Hazeltine: Yogurt, yeast paste, lecithin; all the things you ought to be eating. Want some?
- Det. Barzak: No way, man. I'm on a low-mucous diet. You know that.”
Robert Carradine - Det. Barzak
Billy Dee Williams - Det. Hazeltine

“- Alexia: Today is definitely day one.
- Hayley: Day one of what?
- Alexia: My diet. Oh, excuse me. I mean your diet. A fruit and veggie fast. You're bloated.”

Katherine Heigl - Alexia Wheaton
Danielle Harris - Hayley Wheaton