“Mother. Father. Family.”
Sir Ian Holm - Capitaine Phillippe D'Arnot

“- Trixie Young: I think your dad likes my mom. Usually when a guy does that, I hit him with a car and I knock him down the stairs, I've gotta look out for her. But your dad, he doesn't bug me so much.
- Junior Healy: And you know something? Your mom doesn't bug me so much.”
Ivyann Schwan - Trixie Young
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

“- Dashiki: Now kids, what do we say to a man that Mommy just met?
- Kids: Are you my daddy?”
Tracey Cherelle Jones - Dashiki

“You know I finally met a girl exactly like my mother: dress like her, acts like her. So I brought her home, my father doesn't like her!”
Wayne Knight - Stan

“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kidscrazy.”
John Travolta - James