“- Detective Marcus Burnett: Mike, have some dignity!
- Detective Mike Lowrey: What? I ain't doin' nothin'.
- Detective Marcus Burnett: Cover the titties.”

Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

“- TS Quint: Why do palm reading topless?
- Brodie: It makes the news easier to take. She could tell me I was going to die in ten minutes, just as long as she told me topless.”
Jeremy London - TS Quint
Jason Lee - Brodie

“- Suzette: I saw this guy, he was on a stretcher. His face was all purple and I thought he was dead. Even he looked at my tits.
- Lavinia Kingsley: Maybe you revived him.”
Goldie Hawn - Suzette
Susan Sarandon - Lavinia Kingsley

“I'm a normal, red-blooded American man. I like to look at naked women. I love breasts; the bigger, the better. Nipples like udders, nipples like saucers, big pale rosy-brown nipples. Little bitty baby nipples. Real or fake, what's the difference? I like tits. Who's kidding who? Tits are great!”
Greg Kinnear - Bob Crane

“- Walt Tenor: What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?
- April Mercedes: Tit?”
Greg Kinnear - Walt Tenor
Eva Mendes - April Mercedes