“- Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times...
- Paul Vitti: Eight times.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: ...eight times, is not catastrophic.”

Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“- Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: All you want is to get laid in every country in South America.
- Alberto Granado: In every town too, if we're lucky. Adds a little spice.”

Gael García Bernal - Ernesto Guevara de la Serna
Rodrigo De la Serna - Alberto Granado

“- Linda Howard: Even if I wanted to, my boss isn't here, there's no one I can quit to.
- David Howard: Well, it's time to get out. We have to touch Indians. We have to see the mountains and the prairies and the whole rest of that song. Let's make love right now. I want to have sex with you right here.”
Julie Hagerty - Linda Howard
Albert Brooks - David Howard

“You came here for a decent Scandinavian blowjob like the rest of us.”

“Do you like sex and travel?”
Bob Balaban - Bernie Nayman