“- Albert: I've raised my kids.
- Mollie: Raised them? They're 11 and 9. Don't tell me they've moved out and gotten jobs already!”
George Segal - Albert
Kirstie Alley - Mollie

“- Eve: I don't like to gossip, but that new gal seems to have an awful crush on Shakespeare!
- Susan: I wouldn't be surprised if they get married!”

Eve Arden - Eve
Peggy O'Donnell - Susan

“You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.”

Cary Grant - Mortimer Brewster

“- Mozelle Batiste Delacroix: You can't possibly marry me. I can't let that happen.
- Julian Grayraven: Is it that you don't love me?
- Mozelle Batiste Delacroix: No! It's not that, it's... bare with me. I'm cursed. I can't have children. I'm barren.”
Debbi Morgan - Mozelle Batiste Delacroix
Vondie Curtis-Hall - Julian Grayraven

“- Victoria Everglot: Since I was a child, I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it?
- Victor Van Dort: Yes, silly. No. No, not at all, no.”
Emily Watson - Victoria Everglot
Johnny Depp - Victor Van Dort