“- Paul DuChard: Anything wrong?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Oh, no, no. No, it's, uh, my mistake here, uh. For a second here I thought that this young lady was a girl that I knew in France; I was wrong; the girl I know is dead.
- Paul DuChard: Oh, a natural error, monsieur. My wife has been mistaken for dead girls by many men.”

Fernando Lamas - Paul DuChard
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

- Artie Mitchell: You're the most beautiful woman in this hot tub.
- Jamie the "Actress": So, where's your wife?
- Karen Mitchell: She's right here, asshole!
- Jamie the "Actress": Bitch.
- Artie Mitchell: Honey!
Charlie Sheen - Artie Mitchell
Kim Poirier - Jamie the "Actress"
Nicole de Boer - Karen Mitchell

“John... Make any flirtatious remarks in my wife's presence, there will be a reckoning.”
Patrick Wilson - Arthur

“He's got you on a pedestal and me in his arms.”
Cameron Diaz - Kimberly Wallace

“Ther’s just certain things a man wants from his wife, like to be here when he gets home, to cook a meal once in a while, clean up, and make good love too.”
John Travolta - Bud