“- Pepi Katona: I would say it's a nervous breakdown. What do you think?
- Doctor: It appears to be an acute epileptoid manifestation and a pan phobic melancholiac with indication of a neurasthenia cordus.
- Pepi Katona: Is that more expensive than a nervous breakdown?”

William Tracy - Pepi Katona
Edwin Maxwell - Doctor

“- Fuzzy: Is your father dead?
- Dr. Wilbur Larch: Cirrhosis. It's a disease of the liver.
- Fuzzy: What, a liver killed him?
- Dr. Wilbur Larch: No, alcohol killed him. He drank himself to death.”
Erik Per Sullivan - Fuzzy
Sir Michael Caine - Dr. Wilbur Larch

“- Danny Noonan: I had a couple of burgers and some Cokes for lunch.
- Pat Noonan: How many Cokes?
- Danny Noonan: Four or five.
- Pat Noonan: What are you, a diabetic?
- Danny Noonan: I don't know!”
Michael O'Keefe - Danny Noonan
Ron Frank - Pat Noonan

“- Frank Detorre: I feel a little fluey.
- Bob: You know what they say; starve a cold, drown the flu. Your body needs fluids now, lots of 'em.
- Frank Detorre: Is beer fluid?”
Bill Murray - Frank Detorre
Chris Elliott - Bob

“I think the blindness is an allergic reaction to the cat and all the tea you've been drinking...”

Sean Astin - Izzy