“- Sonny: How can John Wayne die?
- Lefty: Fuckin' Indians got him.”
Michael Madsen - Sonny
Al Pacino - Lefty

“- Doris Mann: How was work today, dear?
- Suzanne Vale: They made me do a drug test.
- Doris Mann: I knew it. I knew you shouldn't do this film.
- Suzanne Vale: You knew I shouldn't do it because it's a badfilm, not because they were going to make me do a drug test.”
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“- Tommy: La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...
- Richard: [walks in] Oh, I've interrupted happy time! Now I know you want to sit there and keep being not slim, but we gotta work a little today.
- Tommy: That was from 'Star Wars'.
- Richard: I know.”

Chris Farley - Tommy
David Spade - Richard

“Don't worry. Some of the best movies are made by people working together who hate each other's guts.”
Kirk Douglas - Jonathan

“I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie