“- Gordon Cooper: Yeah, but... nurse, how am I supposed to...
- Nurse Murch: The best results seem to be obtained through fantasization, accompanied by masturbation, followed by ejaculation.
- Gordon Cooper: Well, that sounds easy enough.”

Dennis Quaid - Gordon Cooper
Jane Dornacker - Nurse Murch

“- Col. Nathan R. Jessup: How the hell is your dad, Danny?
- Lt. Daniel Kaffee: He passed away seven years ago, sir.
- Col. Nathan R. Jessup: Don't I feel like the fucking asshole?
- Lt. Daniel Kaffee: Not at all sir.”
Jack Nicholson - Col. Nathan R. Jessup
Tom Cruise - Lt. Daniel Kaffee

“Please don't tell my kids I died taking a shit.”
Daniel Stern - Phil Berquist

“- Randal Graves: Embolism in a pool.
- Dante Hicks: What an embarrassing way to die.”
Jeff Anderson - Randal Graves
Brian O'Halloran - Dante Hicks

“I'm afraid the coroner's report will show death by auto-erotic strangulation.”
Paul Mazursky - Sidney