“- Birthday Woman: Oh, Ronnie Dobbs. You are brilliant. You have to do me a favor.
- Ronnie Dobbs: At your service.
- Birthday Woman: Tell me to fuck off.
- Ronnie Dobbs: Huh?
- Birthday Woman's Friend: Come on, it's her birthday.
- Ronnie Dobbs: Alright. Fuck you, bitch.”
Laura Kightlinger - Birthday Woman
David Cross - Ronnie Dobbs
Jeff Garlin - Birthday Woman's friend

“- Cindy Jo: I wish I'd known it was your birthday, I would have gotten you something.
- Larry Burrows: Well, Cindy Jo, you've already given me more than you could possibly know. Really.”
Rene Russo - Cindy Jo
Jim Belushi - Larry Burrows

“- Chris Chandler: Is that what you want for your birthday? Everybody to pay it forward?
- Trevor McKinney: I can't ask for that.
- Chris Chandler: Sure you can. Why not?
- Trevor McKinney: It wouldn't work.
- Chris Chandler: Why?
- Trevor McKinney: I already blew out my candles.”
Jay Mohr - Chris Chandler
Haley Joel Osment - Trevor McKinney

“- Francis Buxton: Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.
- Pee-wee Herman: Good for you and your father.
- Francis Buxton: So guess what I want.
- Pee-wee Herman: A new brain.”
Mark Holton - Francis Buxton
Paul Reubens - Pee-wee Herman

“- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon): Happy birthday for yesterday. I mean that, sincerely, happy birthday, man.
- Roger Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon): Thanks.
- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon): Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.”
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh