“I usually have at least a month before I am faced with student in women's underwear or an artist's rendering of my persona dangling from the rafters. And we're only in the first week. It's frightening to imagine what could happen by Christmas, isn't it?”

James D. O'Reilly - Mr. Bernhardt

“If we treat our students like animals, that's exactly how they'll behave!”
Morgan Freeman - Principal Joe Clark

- Lehman: There's a new order, I should say "Heil Hiter", but I won't, not to you.
- Professor Victor Roth: Thank you, Lehman.
- Lehman: That is, unless some of the other gentlemen are present, or the students.
William Edmunds - Lehman
Frank Morgan - Professor Viktor Roth

“- Mr. Wheat: What's your hurry, my brother?
- Dexter Reed: My hurry is it's now officially summer vacation and yet I'm still looking at you.
- Mr. Wheat: You're an amazing student. I mean, you sit there and get your test done first, and you were concentrating so hard I thought you were sleep.
- Dexter Reed: Next time make it more challenging.”
Sinbad - Mr. Wheat
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“- Reporter Brenda: We just received word that some sort of tragedy has happened in the high school today.
- Sheriff McCloud: No, nothing unusual.
- Reporter Brenda: I was referring to the slaughter.
- Sheriff McCloud: Right, there was that. Earlier today one of the students got badly killed.”
Nannette Brown - Reporter Brenda
Jay O. Sanders - Sheriff McCloud