“- Cale: The only party I heard about is the one in your panties.
- Haley Gordon: Oh, no. There's absolutely no way there could be a party in my panties.
- Cale: Why not?
- Haley Gordon: Because I'm not wearing any.”

Ethan Suplee - Cale
Isidra Vega - Haley Gordon

“- Guy Cipriani: No wedding!
- Connie Cipriani: We got 300 people coming here.
- Guy Cipriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!”
Paul Sorvino - Guy Cipriani
Veronica Cartwright - Connie Cipriani

“Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”
Paul Shaffer - Hermes; the Messenger God

“- Zeus: Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration.
- Hades: Love to, babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.”

Rip Torn - Zeus
James Woods - Hades

“- Clara: Have a nice party.
- Muffy: Nice? It's gotta be better than nice. It's gotta be bloody unforgettable.”
Pat Barlow - Clara
Deborah Foreman - Muffy