“- Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he sells a bit of weed every now and again, you know. You've sold puff.
- Pete: Yeah. Once. At college. To you.”
Simon Pegg - Shaun
Peter Serafinowicz - Pete

“I was wondering if I could purchase some heroin and then we could go out and do some hatecrimes and stuff.”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano

“I had a joint and a few little bags of coke. Since when is that shit illegal?”
Spoken Reasons - Rojas

“I don't feel that what I've done is a crime. And I think it's illogical and irresponsible for you to sentence me to prison. Because, when you think about it, what did I really do? I crossed an imaginary line with a bunch of plants.”

Johnny Depp - George Jung

“It's a slippery slope... beer, liquor, dope, coke, meth, chicks with dicks, then jail!”
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz