“- Sean Dawkins: Hey, Uncle Billy lost his right nut in 'nam.
- Gordie Boggs: Well kick him in his left nut when you see him. These seats bite!
- Sean Dawkins: If you only have one left, is it still your left nut?”
Scott Caan - Sean Dawkins
David Arquette - Gordie Boggs

“- April Mercedes: Can I ask you a personal question?
- Walt Tenor: Nine inches.”
Eva Mendes - April Mercedes
Greg Kinnear - Walt Tenor

“- Lucien Cordier: Do you know the question no one can answer? The big question?
- George Le Peron: Go ahead.
- Lucien Cordier: When you scratch your balls, is it 'cause they itch, or 'cause it feels good?”
Philippe Noiret - Lucien Cordier
Jean-Pierre Marielle - L'adjudant Georges Le Peron

“What is the meaning of life, Mr. Leth? So close to its end and still no answers.”
Matt Damon - Management

“Everyone has to ask the question, am I a sucker or what. I mean we all play the game, but who makes up the rules?”
Eugene Roche - Ed McGrath