“- Reverend Mike: He loved his booze. He loved his women.
- Mourners: He loved my wife, too! Yes, he did! Sure did!”

Sherman Hemsley - Reverend Mike

“- Sidney Miller: Betty, we should go.
- Constance Miller: Betty was your other wife. I'm Constance.”
Alan Alda - Sidney Miller
Allison Janney - Constance Miller

“You got your choice to make, destroy your marriage and break your husband's heart, or have sex with me right now.”

Tim Blake Nelson - Bubba

“I take full responsibility for sleeping with her. I had very low self-esteem. I had to compete with somebody. It happened to be my son.”
Ashton Dane - Talk Show Father

“How could you do this? A total stranger I could understand. You and another woman, maybe. Me, you and another woman, definitely! But my own brother?”

Jay Mohr - Anthony 'Tony' Cortino