“- Evelyn Couch: That's a low cholesterol meal. Happy Valentine's.
- Ed Couch: God! Are you trying to kill me?”
Kathy Bates - Evelyn Couch
Gailard Sartain - Ed Couch

“- Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!
- Ellen Griswold: Oh, we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake.
- Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?”
Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Isabel Kelly: Why don't we name the puppy?
- Anna Harrison: I know: Isabel.
- Isabel: I beg your pardon?
- Anna Harrison: Well, it kind of smells like you, and I'm allergic to you too, so it fits perfectly.”
Julia Roberts - Isabel Kelly
Jena Malone - Anna Harrison

“A blender? I mean, what is this? 1958? Give the little wife a blender?”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks

“- Romulus: There is something I kind of have my heart set on.
- Lulu: What?
- Romulus: It's something I want more than chocolates or a car, or...
- Lulu: What do you want, Daddy?
- Romulus: The autopsy report on Scotty Gates.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Romulus
Aunjanue Ellis - Lulu