“- Vladislav: Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!
- Viago: What are you bidding on?
- Vladislav: I am bidding on a table.”
Jemaine Clement - Vladislav
Taika Waititi - Viago

“Every credit card application we send in, we get two more in the mail. Here's one from some bank I've never heard of, in North Dakota. Fill it out. Fill them all in. It's the last great pyramid scheme in America.”

William H. Macy - James Gordon

“- Mike Barnes: Sir, you said if I come down here and beat this LaRusso kid, I can have 25 percent ownership in you new dojos? Well, to perform my best, which I fully intend to do, I'm gonna need 50 percent.
- Terry: Whoa... I'm afraid I can't give you any more than 35!
- Mike Barnes: I guess I'll be on my way, then... nice meeting everybody.”
Sean Kanan - Mike Barnes
Thomas Ian Griffith - Terry

“I want you to know something, Tucker. I went into business with you for one reason - to make money. That's all.”
Martin Landau - Abe

“Professor, I must give you back your ten shillings. You see, the cabber wouldn't take any money, because he said he was going into some other business.”
Katie Johnson - The Old Lady - Mrs. Wilberforce