“- Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir, what's your name?
- Pedro: Whut? I told you my name, man!
- Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's your name?
- Pedro: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!
- Pedro: [Man vomits onto the floor of the car] Uuhhh - His name is Raalllph, man!”
Arthur Roberts - Arresting Officer
Cheech Marin - Pedro De Pacas

- Ike: Just call me Ike.
- Hash: Hash.
- Ike: Not now, man. Maybe after dinner.
- Hash: No. My name is Hash. It's easier to say than "El Hashid Amir Junior".
- Ike: It's easier to smoke too.
Wendell Brown - Ike
Tommy Citera - Hash

“- Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
- Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
John P. Navin Jr. - Cousin Dale

“Uh-oh. Get out the Alka-Seltzer.”
Barry Corbin - Uncle Bob

“I can feel my hair growing.”

Doris Roberts - Grandma Lilly