“- Lloyd Dobler: Is the movies a good second date? You know, as a date?
- Corey Flood: Well, you never had a first date.
- Lloyd Dobler: Yes we did. I sat across from her at a mall. We ate together. We ate. That's eating. Sharing an important physical event.”
John Cusack - Lloyd Dobler
Lili Taylor - Corey Flood

“- Lucy: You wanna take me to a kung fu movie?
- Clarence Worley: Three kung fu movies.”
Anna Levine - Lucy
Christian Slater - Clarence Worley

“- Peevy: You got a good thing goin' on with that girl, Clifford. And I'm tellin' you right now, if she flies the coop, it's gonna be your fault.
- Cliff: What do you know about women, Peev? You haven't had a date since 1932.
- Peevy: Flora Maxwell. There wasn't any point datin' nobody after her.”

Alan Arkin - Peevy
Billy Campbell - Cliff

“- Jane Spencer: I feel like such a fool. I should have never doubted you.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: There, there. You had no way of knowing the man you were dating was a vicious, murdering sociopath.”
Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you'll be dating sperm.”
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins