“- Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
- Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
- Frank: '74.
- Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.”
Norm MacDonald - Frank
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Dana: Now remember, don't be scared! That's the most important thing. And uh, don't... don't talk about your past. That turns men off.
- Angel: I don't have a past, idiot.”

Alexa Kenin - Dana
Kristy McNichol - Angel

“- Frida Kahlo: Don't think I am going to sleep with you just because you took me under your wing.
- Diego Rivera: Before you came along, I was painting murals and womanizing in peace.”
Salma Hayek - Frida Kahlo
Alfred Molina - Diego Rivera

“- Cathy: Looking at you tonight I could not help but remember how things used to be.
- Heathcliff: They used to be better.”
Merle Oberon - Cathy
Laurence Olivier - Heathcliff

“We, none of us, want to live in the past, Maxim least of all. It's up to you, you know, to lead us away from it.”

Reginald Denny - Frank Crawley