“- Tommy O'Shea: Whatever you want. Whatever you need.
- Paul Kersey: I don't need anything. But you, you need a bath!”
Michael Parks - Tommy O'Shea
Charles Bronson - Paul Kersey

“That was really scary. If you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something cause your breath stinks!”

Eddie Murphy - Donkey

“In here there's some money. Get some clothiong, toothpaste, deodorant, personal effects, whatever have you. Take a shower! Wash your ass!”

Jim Brown - Spivey

“It's the cutting edge of politics in a very extraordinarily boring way!”

Eddie Izzard - Himself

“I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car.”
Alan Ruck - Ferris Bueller