“Ladies and gentlemen, you're being detained against your will, and for that I apologize. It is not our intention in any way to harm you, you will not be detained one minute longer than is necessary for us to complete our mission.”
Ed Harris - General Francis X. Hummel

“I have a client in jail for a busted tail light and I can't get him out.”
Al Pacino - Arthur Kirkland

“- Martland: Can you think of a good reason why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
- Mortdecai: I eschew discomfort?”
Ewan Gordon McGregor - Martland
Johnny Depp - Mortdecai

“- Casey Bugge: He poked me in the eye!
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Captain Insano shows no mercy.”
Al Whiting - Casey Bugge
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

“- Fernand Mondego: What happened to your mercy?
- Edmond Dantes: I'm a count, not a saint.”
Guy Pearce - Fernand Mondego
Jim Caviezel - Edmond Dantes