“- Guy in bathroom: Hey, you're in the Army, yes?
- Dignan: No, I just have short hair.”
Owen Wilson - Dignan

“- Lilli Hargrave: I'm gonna keep this forever.
- Richard Lestrange: What's that?
- Lilli Hargrave: My prize. The white bead. I think... It looks nice in my hair. Do you?
- Richard Lestrange: I don't care what you do with it, or how you wear it. You can hang it from you nose for all I care.”
Milla Jovovich - Lilli Hargrave
Brian Krause - Richard Lestrange

“- Harlan 'Flat-top' Meyers: I've been waiting for you!
- Andre Krimm: You should be waiting for the guy that cut your hair!”
Tom Whitenight - Harlan 'Flat-top' Meyers
Sinbad - Andre Krimm

“There's nothing wrong with you... except your hair. Your hair is a train wreck.”

Edward Norton - Will Graham

“- Warren: My hair doesn't grow long enough to swoop it over. Besides, I think when you see a guy with his hair swooped over, you know he's doing it to cover up something.
-Larry: Yeah, if a guy has a lot of hair, he's not gonna swoop it over.”
Charles Grodin - Warren
Steve Martin - Larry