“- Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...
- Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!”
Allen Covert - Alex
Shirley Jones - Grace

“- Cop #1: Hey, didya see that, uh, Nina Bedford show this morning?
- Cop #2: Yeah, that uh... thing about toast-fucking.
- Cop #1: ...toast-fucking?
- Cop #2: Yeah - it's the new thing where you fuck or get fucked with toast.
- Cop #1: No, the... the show this morning was about that new drug.
- Cop #2: Oh. Must have been a dream I had.”
Mark McKinney - Cop #1
Bruce McCulloch - Cop #2

“You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel: constant updates.”

Jason Lee - Banky Edwards

“I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to. You can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch my fucking television set!”
Al Pacino - Lt. Vincent Hanna

“- Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're gonna get paid to score.
- Beavis: Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
- Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.”
Mike Judge - Butt-Head
Mike Judge - Beavis