“Things seem different here. They say God made Australia last, don't you know, after he got tired of making everything else the same.”
Laura San Giacomo - Crazy Cora

“- Emmett Fitz-Hume: Oh. Uh, will you hold my wallet for me while I take the test, please? There's a thousand dollars in there... or maybe there isn't. Know what I mean?
- Test Monitor: Are you saying I can take this money if I help you pass the test?
- Emmett Fitz-Hume: What do you think?”
Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
Frank Oz - Test Monitor

“- Male Student: I didn't know you were gonna be giving me electric shocks. What are trying to prove here, anyway?
- Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effect on negative reinforcement on ESP ability.
- Male Student: Effect? I'll tell you the effect is, it's pissing me off!”
Steven Tash - Male Student
Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“You are not inferior. Your grades may be. Your school may have been. But you can turn all that around and make liars out of those bastards in exactly one hour, when you take that test, pass it, and win!”

Morgan Freeman - Principal Joe Clark

“- Allie Calhoun: I have a fiancé waiting for me at a hotel who's going to be crushed when he finds out what I did.
- Noah: So you make love to me, and go back to your husband. Was that your plan? Was that a test I didn't pass?”
Rachel McAdams - Allie
Ryan Gosling - Noah