“All I want for Christmas, Santa, is two fat bitches, 2 bags a weed and 2 bags of chips to give to the fat bitches.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“I'm sorry but I have had it! I have never heard of such a Christmas! Sex... and drugs... an-an-and women being set on fire!”
Christine Baranski - Connie

“- Agnes Smith: Rose, what did you get me for Christmas?
- Rose Smith: You'll find out tomorrow.
- Agnes Smith: I hope it's a hunting knife!”
Joan Carroll - Agnes Smith
Lucille Bremer - Rose Smith

“Christmas isn't about complaining over what we don't have. We should be thankful for what we do have.”
Lee Evans - Lars Smuntz

“Remind me, please, to put him on my Christmas list, if I could figure out how to make a letter bomb.”
Jason Biggs - Jerry Falk