“- Josie McClellan: Always smokecigars?
- Jim Dodge: I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. It settles the stomach.”
Jennifer Lynn Connelly - Josie McClellan
Frank Whaley - Jim Dodge

“I wish you wouldn't smoke. We should never have sent you to America, you picked up such appalling habits there.”

Oliver Cotton - King Haroak

“[Clark punches the Marty Moose statue]
- Ellen Griswold: Clark, what are you doing?
- Clark Griswold: We watch his program... We buy his toys, we go to his movies... he owes us. Doesn't he owe us, huh? He owes the Griswolds, right? Fucking a right he owes us!
- Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're scaring me!”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Ellen Griswold: Gee Cath looks like you really got your hands full.
- Cousin Catherine: Oh, it's not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Miriam Flynn - Cousin Catherine

“- Ding Bell: Benji, I tell you, he said the man who's flying should be talking on this thing.
- Benjy Benjamin: What, am I supposed to do everything? You want me to fly the airplane, you want me to work the radio, what are you gonna... What are you, the hostess?”
Mickey Rooney - Ding Bell
Buddy Hackett - Benjy Benjamin