“You know, I admit I may not be the best mother in the world, but I'm doing the best I know how, and he doesn't need you to rub his face in shit because you think it's good for him! He's gonna find out that the world is a horrible place and that people suck soon enough and without any help from you!”

Laura Linney - Sammy

“Spare the rod, spoil the child - is that the idea? Is this how you raised my mother? No wonder she was such a fucking bitch!”

Rose McGowan - Debbie Strand

“- John Hull: David, come on. Take your feet off the couch. You don't do that at your mother's house, do you?
- David Jason: Nouveau anal, I think this is called.”
Laurence Fishburne - John Hull
Jeff Goldblum - David Jason

“Gentlemen, it's called education. It doesn't come off the side of a cigarette carton. it comes from our teachers, and more importantly our parents. It is the job of every parent to warn their children of all the dangers of the world, including cigarettes, so that one day when they get older they can choose for themselves.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor

“- Frank Beardsley: Occasionally. A little pat on the butt sends a clear message.
- Helen North: Well you're not spanking my children.
- Frank Beardsley: I thought they were our children.
- Helen North: You're not spanking our children.
- Frank Beardsley: Okay, fine. Let's just let them all run naked and wild.”
Dennis Quaid - Frank Beardsley
Rene Russo - Helen North